After years of silence, T.O.P, the multifaceted musician and actor, has emerged into the spotlight once again, sharing his story of regret, growth, and a renewed purpose. Following his return to acting through Netflix’s Squid Game 2, T.O.P granted his first media interview in 11 years, candidly addressing past controversies and revealing his aspirations for the future.
From Stardom to Shadows
T.O.P’s meteoric rise to fame as a member of the iconic K-pop group Big Bang in the 2000s was matched only by the profound challenges he faced in the years that followed. Pondering his fierce twenties, he shared, “I got more love than I merited and appreciated unfathomable popularity, however I likewise experienced defeat and ruin. It pushed me into inescapably dark times.”
In 2016, T.O.P faced legal repercussions for illegal drug use, resulting in a two-year probationary sentence. The fallout from this incident not only tarnished his public image but also led to an internal battle with guilt and shame. “””I was broken and didn’t have the fortitude to gather myself back,” he conceded.
The Pain of Regret
T.O.P openly acknowledged his strained relationship with fans during his darkest moments. Some supporters continued to hope for his return to Big Bang, but his inability to properly navigate the conflict led to hurtful exchanges. “I made reckless decisions and said foolish words,” he admitted, expressing deep regret. “I was out of my mind. I lament what I did, and I accept that I really want to bear the lament until the end of my life.”
Parting Ways with Big Bang
In February 2022, T.O.P announced his departure from both Big Bang and YG Entertainment, the agency that nurtured his career from the start. He clarified that this decision stemmed from a desire to protect the group’s image. “”I seriously hurt the picture of Huge explosion and my previous organization through my missteps. It was unbearable to think that my consequences would hurt the other members,” he said, emphasizing his commitment to taking responsibility for his actions.
Regarding his final project with Big Bang, the single Still Life, T.O.P revealed it was a deeply personal farewell. Despite fans’ continued wishes for his return to the group, he stated, “It’s too painful for me to see those hopes. I decided long ago that I did not want to hurt the group’s image anymore.”
A New Chapter: Music as Salvation
During his time away from the public eye, T.O.P found solace in music. “ I’ve been living in my studio and making music for the past seven years as an outsider in society.” Being in front of the mic was the only “I sensed a fleeting moment of tranquility wash over me,” he remarked. Now, he hopes to share the music he has created during those years with fans who have stood by him.
While he declined to speak about his former bandmates or speculate about the future of Big Bang, T.O.P made it clear that his focus remains on rebuilding himself and creating meaningful art. He conceded, “I consider it my obligation to compensate for the mix-ups I made to those fans who are as yet hanging tight for me.”
A Message of Accountability and Hope
T.O.P’s return is not a declaration of redemption but rather a vow to move forward with humility and purpose. “”I realize it may not be proper for me to say this, yet I feel that so many of the errors emerged in light of the fact that I didn’t clarify that I left Big Bang out of regret and guilt,” he said. He promised that his future actions would reflect his growth, ensuring that the same mistakes and misunderstandings would not repeat.
Looking Ahead
As T.O.P prepares to release his long-awaited solo album, he hopes to reconnect with fans through music that reflects his journey of self-reflection and resilience. His story is a poignant reminder that fame does not shield individuals from hardship, but it is through accountability and determination that one can find a way forward.
T.O.P’s path may be marked by challenges, but his willingness to confront his past head-on and embrace the healing power of music paints a picture of a man determined to turn regret into redemption.